My spouse, the fabulous Lela Beem, has been studying and practicing Somatic Experiencing (SE), a well-regarded trauma resolution modality founded by Dr. Peter Levine. As a result, I'm becoming familiar with the basic principles through "second-hand learning" - a perk of being married to someone in a complimentary line of work.
One spark that has kindled my own fire of contemplation is the way she uses curiosity as a catalyst for shifting folks out of their fixated patterns. "Look around the room, pause when you find something you enjoy looking at," she might say. The intention is to activate the exploratory orienting response, a present moment engagement with the world that is open to new, positive possibilities. What's out there that might fill you with wonder?
This is in contrast to the defensive orienting response ("where's the attack coming from?") that happens when we startle, or protective responses like fight, flight or freeze. These reactions are vital elements of our behavioral repertoire, but they become corrosive and life-limiting when chronically engaged as a result of long-term stress or post-traumatic shock. Learning how to shift out of these chronic states is a big deal, and Lela really enjoys walking people through the process.
For those in the initial stages of trauma recovery, one-on-one work seems vital as everyone’s process is unique and requires a skilled therapist. For the rest of us dealing with the inevitable scars that come from being limited mortals, I think yoga has great potential to help us thaw out bodymind fixations. It depends on the class style, of course. Thoughtful, welcoming, postural yoga can give us a safe environment in which to practice holding somewhat difficult, constrained positions and then releasing them, over and over. Supported by permission to adapt, modify or stop anytime, we learn that it's ok to feel things more intensely, that we have resources for coping, and that all experiences will pass. Our nervous system becomes more fluent in transitioning through its many modes.
We yoga teachers often promote mindfulness as an ideal attitude during practice. There's a complicated history to this word, and I'm going to make some general statements here that deserve a lot of caveats. It's often defined as something like: paying attention to present moment experience, on purpose, without judgment or agenda. Great idea, overall. Far better than practicing yoga while criticizing ourselves for past failures.
But as I learn from Lela and consider my own experience, I've become a little unsure about the "without judgment" part. There's a fine line between being a nonjudgmental Witness and not feeling anything at all -- aka dissociation, part of the protective freeze repertoire. So many of us live in a state of frozen overwhelm as it is, we would do well to be a bit cautious about valorizing a state that may reinforce the notion that feeling less is better, that being less connected to the world is better. As with anything, it’s super useful to be able to temporarily distance ourselves from intense experience, yet problematic as a default coping strategy. I say this from personal experience.
I'm wondering if it might serve us better to inflect towards curiosity more than mindfulness or Witnessing? To meet ourselves and the world as fertile fields of insight or delight, rather than landmines of reactivity that must be avoided? (Lots of nuance could be added here to muddy these distinctions; please forgive the simplification for sake of argument.)
What exactly do I mean by curiosity? I don't mean insatiable information-seeking: Wikipedia rabbitholes, endless scrolling, binge watching. This kind of hard fascination is akin to the rapt attention of predator and prey. Rather, something more like the soft fascination of wandering through a forest or a young child rummaging around in kitchen drawers. There's a spaciousness to it, but it's still motivated and embodied, seeking novelty and aesthetic pleasure as an organism rather than an insubstantial observer.
This is the opening experiment in my upcoming 6-week course on The Yoga of Small Changes. What happens if we take curiosity as the foundational attitude for our yoga practice, for our life practice? Can we cultivate it? My additional hypothesis is that we can activate this state more effectively in a group (social apes that we are) than by ourselves. If you live in the area, please consider joining our "lab group" that begins this Tuesday, February 14th at 7p; there's still plenty of space. (I realized too late that this is Valentine's Day... but hey, maybe sign up with your partner?)
Note to readers and myself:
My intention is to post more often during this course, once a week ideally, to harvest insights and develop my thinking. Essays will be a little rougher, but more frequent.
Thoughts on the pros and cons of mindfulness? Perspectives on curiosity? Your feedback and comments always appreciated.
This piece edited and improved by Lela Beem.